Day 20: Something you wonder “What if…?” about. I’ve thought about this before. What if my ex (the one mentioned yesterday), was supposed to be my soul mate? What if he was it, the best I’d ever get and I/we screwed it up? Then I think how my life was when we were together and if he was my soul mate and I had to live that life for the rest of my years, I’d go mad.

Day 19: Things you want to say to an ex. You are not all that. You do not know everything. You were (and probably still are) a momma’s boy. Learn to say no to your mom. I hope you have stopped pouting like a child when you lose at video games.  Mostly importantly, learn to defend the people you love.* There are probably a ton of other things I could say to him too, but I think everything would just go over his head and he wouldn’t listen to any of it.   *One day he mentions to me that his mom thought I was abusing his son. His son…

Day 18: Something you miss. I miss having a job. I miss cuddling on the couch with my guy watching tv.  I miss the ability to go to bed at 4am after a night of drinking with my friends and being able to get up willingly at 8am to start my day.

Day 17: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs. So I don’t own an iPod. Never have. I do have a Creative Zen Vision M that’s like 5 or so years old, but I don’t use it much anymore. If I listen to music it’s either while I’m driving around in my car, on the radio at night while I sleep or on my laptop while I’m doing whatever. I’m not even sure where my Creative is right now and even if I did, it’s not updated with new music because I can’t find a data cable that works for it. So instead, I put all the music I…

Day 16: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it. It’s hard for me to say how comfortable I am with my body. Not as in I don’t know how to put it into words, but that some days I’m ok with it and some days I’m not. My health, especially mobility wise, is not that good. I am not comfortable with that. I try to eat right, but in my current living situation along with money issues, it’s hard. I was working on the issue when I had a job and insurance (real insurance, not just county hospital stuff), but obviously that went away when the…

Day 15: Death row meal. I’d rather go on an all day food craze if it were my last day on earth, so I give you the following. Olive Garden – I’d start with a bowl of Zuppa Toscana soup. And I’d get some chicken & pasta dish, the exact one I couldn’t say. But there would also be zucchini, bell peppers and lots of garlic involved. Starbucks – I’d get a Venti Java Chip frap with 2 added espresso shots, 3 pumps toffee nut and a wall of mocha and caramel around the cup with drizzle on top. Chinese – I know that Food 4 Less grocery stores aren’t everywhere (I…

Day 14: A picture of you last year – how have you changed?  I took this picture last year near the end of September, so almost a year ago exactly. I’ve never shown it to anyone before either. Sometime within the month before taking the picture I cut off pretty much all of my hair. It had been long, past my shoulders, but it was unhealthy. It got tangled all the time, like those horrible knots you have nightmares about. I looked into getting it deep conditioned and other tricks like that to help, but they would have cost way more than I could afford to spend. My only option…

Day 13: Goals. Get a job (hopefully within the next 3 months). Get my own apartment. I’d like to be moved out of my friends within 6 months of starting a new (permanent, meaning not temp) job. Pay off my debts. This includes money owed to creditors (which is under $500) and to family & friends (which totals over $6000). I have no timeline for this since the amount of time it would take will depend on how much I make per hour at my job. Have enough money in a Savings account to live off of for a minimum of 3 months. Meaning all bills and expenses are covered…

Day 12: Something you don’t leave the house without. 2 things, my cell phone and my keys. Even if I’m at my mom’s and we go to the store or whatever, I still take my keys with me. Mostly because I have a spare key to her house on my key ring and also because I keep my keys in my purse so they are already in something I would take. I got my first cell phone when I was 21. I’d borrowed my mom’s here and there for a couple years before then, but once I got my own I never went anywhere without it. Even though the first…

Day 11: A quote you love. There’s 2 quotes that I love. They are in no way philosophical, educational, political or any other -iticals you can think of. Just quotes that I always love hearing. “Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole.” – Dean, Supernatural, Season 1 Episode 1 “Damn that mother chucker!” Blair, Gossip Girl, Season 2 Episode 1